When Edward goes Britney Spears
by boo182
Summary: What happens when Edward Joins in on a game of truth or dare and Alice 'Dare Master' Cullen decides on his dare? POP QUEEN SENSATION! And... Revenge...This is not another truth or dare fanfic. Although it starts out like that... Rated T for language.
1. Wussy

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. BUT! I **_**do**_** own The Brittany Spears Edward thingy! MINE! ALL MINE! XD**

Chappy One: Wussy

**Edward POV**

Bella and I were sitting on the downstairs sofa, watching some chic flick Bella had picked out. I was pretty much tuning it out and thinking about random things when Alice ran down the stairs with Jasper following closely behind.

"OMC!WHOWANTSTOPLAYTRUTHORDARE?!" It freaked me out how anybody could get so excited about these truth or dare games Alice would occasionally spring on us, (By "occasionally", I mean approximately every two hours) but every single time she did, Rose and Emmett would come running. Things had been like this since Alice and Jasper had joined us, and I in no way believe it is about to change now

"OOOOOOOO!!! I WANNA PLAY! I WANNA PLAY!!!" And, as usual, Emmett was the one to overreact. He would always repeat himself over and over. It surprised me that I was then only one who got annoyed by it. Rosalie too, but only when _she_ couldn't get a word in because of Emmett's constant yapping.

Finally, Rosalie smacked him on the head and he kept quiet. It was extremely annoying that Rosalie was the only one that could keep Emmett's big mouth shut.

What was new this time, though, was Bella's reaction. Usually, she would just ignore the commotion. BUT NOOOO! Not this time. Grrrrr...

"Edward. I want to play truth or dare." She was looking at me with her puppy dog face. Lips pouty, and eyes widened. "Could you play too?" She was also talking in her adorable "baby-tone", as I called it. Curse her for being so damn cute

"Um, sure... Okay... I mean, I guess so." Rosalie rolled her eyes at me. _'Pathetic' _she thought. She had always been annoying, but lately she had really been getting on my nerves.

Then, I heard Alice's thoughts.

'_Hmmmmm, I wonder who is going to be my first victim. Maybe-' _I was just going to tune her out. She was being annoying. Then, she burst out laughing but stopped when she noticed I was looking at her. All I could get from her head was _'How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood__' _. You get the point. For that reason, I got annoyed and gave up.

"EDWARD!! TRUTH OR DARE?!" Again, I tried to read her mind, and again, the only thing I got was the woodchuck thing. Then, I heard Emmett's thoughts.

'_He's probably going to pick truth. Edward is such a wussy!'_

"I AM SO NOT A WUSSY EMMETT! OH MY FREAKIN' CARLISLE! YOU ARE SUCH A TOATAL FREAKIN' RETARD! ALICE, I PICK DARE!" At that moment, the whole room burst out laughing, including Bella! "Bella! How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me!"

"Your overreacting. And I do but that was hil-ar-i-ous! You sounded like Britney Spears!" Then, Bella started laughing again, I assumed, at her comparison. I glared at her but she didn't notice.

I was going to continue until Alice broke my concentration.

"OMC! What a coincidinc!" Everybody stopped laughing, curious, and I started searching Alice's mind for answers and again all I got was the beaver poem. "Okay Edward! I dare you to dress in a tube top and bootie shorts with silver high-heeled boots! Oh! And a blonde wig!" I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, will do." I was surprised Alice was trying to keep me out of her mind for _that_. Not that I was excited or anything. It was just alot better than what she had dared Emmett to do once NO! I AM NOT A CROSS-DRESSER CARLISLE DAMN IT! OR A DRAG QUEEN!!!

"No Edward! I wasn't done yet! You also have to dance to 'Oops I did it again' on top of your Volvo! And sing too!"

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**Haha! Cliffie! How will Edward react? Review!**

**Oh, and the rest of the chapters, there will hardly be anyting about truth or dare. Except in Alice POV. But She's not playing it...**


	2. Total Awsomeness

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. BUT! I **_**do**_** own The Brittany Spears Edward thingy! MINE! ALL MINE! XD**

**A/N: Sorry I took so long updating but I really did not feel like writing extra when I was already writing tons of practice essays for the NYS Test. Again, Sorry! **

Chappy Two: Total Awsomeness

**Edward POV**

"Alice! I refuse to dance on my Volvo!I will end up denting it!" Dumb Alice. She was purposely trying to make me destroy my car. I'm positive she was. That chick is out to get me!

"Well then Edward. I guess you will have to give Sam a lap dance instead." Everyone started laughing. Alice was examining her nails while she spaoke. The ultamite sign she was doing everything in her power to piss me off. _' You know I only said that out loud so everyone would laugh their asses off at you, right?' _I sighed.

"No Alice. I will do neither. I am going upst--"

"Edward. You can't. It is against the rules." I thought about that for a moment.

"I reall--" I was interupted by Alice. Again.

"But Edward. Bella will miss you." I looked at Bella to see her nodding slightly and sighed again.

"Fine. I'll dance on the damn Volvo." I lowered my voice after I said that so hopefully Alice wouldn't hear my next comment. "Bitch." Rosalie, Emmett and Bella burst out laughing. Oops. I am sure to die now...

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY JACKASS?! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!" Fortunalty for me, Jasper was standing near Alice and grabbed her before she could even touch me.

"Edward, the next time you say something like that to Alice, I won't stop her and you will end up explaining to Carlisle and Esme why Alice ripped you into a thousand tiny pieces."

Alice stuck her tounge out at me.

"Alice, just go get the Britney Spears outfit. I. Want. To. See. Edward. Dance." If only Rose had kept her mouth shut, I might've been able to get out of this.

"Oo! I do too Alice! Edward! I will never let you live this down! Jasper, I bet you twenty bucks Edward's gonna actually do it!" Alice had already ran upstairs to get the damn outfit.

"Your on Emmett! I hope you actually have the money this time!" Emmett didn't though, he never did. I was sure of it, especially after I heard him think _'I never do. Why would Jasper think this time wouls be any different. He's so dumb.'_ Then, Alice came running down the stairs with the costume. I sighed and grabbed it from her on my way upstairs.

**Emmett POV**

When Edward came down, he looked just like Britney Spears, except for one tiny deatil, which I knew he forgot purposely to either annoy me or delay his performance.

"Edward! You are missing the Britney Spears boots! How can you sing Oops I did it again without Britney Spears boots?! Go back up and fix it!" Edward hit me really hard on the head, but it was worth it because a) everyone agreed with me (except Edward) and b) Edward actuallt went bck up to fix it! I guess I am just too awsome too ignore!

"I heard that Emmatt and you are not awsome! I only went back upstairs because you made Alice notice and she was going to kick my ass!" Edward was screaming from upstairs. Wimp. I bet he was just afraid of my total awsomness.

"Emmett! I already told you that you are not awsome! Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby? If so, the the part of your brain that was damaged was the part that helps you comprehend things! Childish Bastard!" Ooooo... Naugty words...

"Just change damn it! I'm getting really pissed!" NNOOOOOOOOOO! Rosalie has joined The Evil Potty Mouth on his quest to get the whole world to say naugty words! Oh, W-O-W! The Evil Potty Mouth is ignoring me... HA! My wife kicks ASS! NO! I have become one of them...

I as distracted from my fun by even more fun! Yay fun! I laughed at The Evil Potty Mouth...

**Alice POV**

When Edward came down, he looked frickin' hilarious. He was immediatly wearing his "shutup and leave me alone or I swear I will kill you" face and everyone burst into hysterics.

"Oo! I forgot to get the radio! I will be right back! In the mean time, Bella, you get Edward outside and on top of his Volvo. He won't kill you." I ran upstairs to get the Boombox and Britney Spears CD.

When I went outside, I saw Edward reluctantly getting on the top of his Volvo.

"Hurry up Alice! Before Edward changes his mind!" Emmett seemed the most eager to see Edward dance. Probably because he bet Jasper Edward would.

"I'm working on it! And no Edward, just because Emmett said that I should hurry up before you change your mind does not mean you can."

"Dumb psychics," I heard Edward mutter. I decided to ignore him. He was a scumbah and not worth my time. Instead, I just set up the radio, inserted the CD and found the Oops I did it again track.

"Dance. Now. Or I will hurt you." Edward was being such a pain in the ass that he actually caused me to be grumpy. And that is a very hard thing to do.

"Fine." Edward started dancing and singing. Not immediatly, but he did. Everyone was on the ground, laughing, in a matter of seconds. He was shouting the lyrics.

_I think i did it again  
i made you believe  
we're more than just friends  
oh baby  
it might seem like a crush  
but it doesn't mean  
that i'm serious  
cause to lose all my senses  
that is just so typically me  
oh baby baby_

_oops i did it again  
i played with your heart  
got lost in the game  
oh baby baby  
oops!...you think i'm in love  
that i'm sent from above  
i 'm not that innocent_

_you see my problem is this  
i'm dreaming away  
wishing that heroes they truly exist  
i cry watching the days  
can't you see i'm a fool  
in so many ways  
but to lose all my senses  
that is just so typically me  
oh baby baby_

_oops i did it again  
i played with your heart  
got lost in the game  
oh baby baby  
oops!...you think i'm in love  
that i'm sent from above  
i 'm not that innocent_

_yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_"all aboard"  
"britney before you go, there's something i want you to have"  
"oh its beautiful, but wait a miniute, isnt this... ?"  
"yes it is"  
"but i thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"  
"well baby, i went down and got it for you"  
"oh you shouldnt have"_

_oops!... i did it again to your heart  
got lost in this game, oh baby  
oops!... you think that im sent from above  
im not that innocent_

_oops i did it again  
i played with your heart  
got lost in the game  
oh baby baby  
oops!...you think i'm in love  
that i'm sent from above  
i 'm not that innocent_

_oops i did it again  
i played with your heart  
got lost in the game  
oh baby baby  
oops!...you think i'm in love  
that i'm sent from above  
i 'm not that innocent_

He was dancing to it idiotically. He looked like a Britney Spears Wannabe...

Then, the song stopped. Everyone was disapointed and Bella looked like she was about to cry.

"HA HA JASPER! I WIN! PAY UP!" Jasper looked the least happy, out of everybody, including Edward, who actually looked the happiest. Had Edward gone crazy?

"No Emmett. You owe me more than that, so I think I will keep my money." Go Jazzyper! He rules all!

"OH MY FREAKIN' CARLISLE! THAT WAS LIKE, TOTALLY THE MOST FANTASTICULAR FUNNEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE! I SHOULD LIKE TOTALLY GO FIND SOME MORE FANS AND THEN, LIKE, PERFORM FOR THEM, AND, LIKE, STUFF!!!" Edward then jusped off his Volvo , leaving a huge dent on the roof, and ran off to some random place to search for more "fans". Everyone followed him, laughing their asses off.

"Hey, wait! What about Truth or Dare. Don't you guys still want to play that?" I was left alone, standing by Edward's Volvo. I would kill Edward for ruining my game of Truth or Dare. Absolutly destroy him.

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**Okay! End of Chappy Two! I must say finally. Gosh, It took me FOREVER to post. Okay, Review! If you have any critiscims, then I would very much appreciate it if you would put those in your review. I want to make this story as good as possible!**

**Oh! And I know it's dumb, especially since I am probably nwhere near done with this fanfic, but I have a poll on my profile for best themes for another one. It would really help if you vote!**


	3. Breaking News

**Disclaimer: Yeah, not even gonna bother And if I haven't said it already, this takes place after Eclipse**

**A/N: Yay Me! Two chapters in one day, even though three is wicked short and so is four, but oh well. Oh, by the way peeps,still the same fic by emosparkleluver, just changed my name to boo182 because a) it is easier to type and b) for some random and yes, I do things ALOT for some random reason. But! I have the IM conversation that led to this confusion on my bio. But first, I must say the conversation is pretty stupid, but I am a stupid person and that was a stupid explanationand that just explains it all doesn't it? Anyhoo, ON WITH THE FANFIC!!!**

Chappy Three: Breaking News

**Bella POV**

Rosalie, Emmett Jasper and I had been following Edward around, laughing our asses off, while Edward was in desperate search of "fans" quote unquote. I was getting bored and so was everybody else, judging by the looks on their faces.

"Edward, let's go sit down and watch some TV or something." I was trying to talk to him but he was just ignoring me. For a while anyway.

"Who the hell is Edward? And if we watch TV, let's watch my new music video, GIMMEE MORE! although that one is not as new as PIECE OF ME!!" I was getting scared now...

"Edward, your dare is over now. You can stop acting like Britney Spears." Thank-you Jasper... Saving me from embarrasing my soon-to-be husband. I have nooooooo clue why Edward is so protective of me around Jasper.

"WHO THE HELL IS EDWARD! I'M FRICKEN BRITNEY SPEARS MORONS!!!" I just rolled my eyes at him. He was probably doing this on purpose to annoy everybody. I pulled him insideto the room, where I sat him down on the couch. I turned on the TV to news channel nine. The were reporting the weather which was utterly useless because everyone knew the weather for the next 100 years would be. Rainy.

I was sitting on the couch next to Edward for a couple of Minutes before "it" happened.

**Newsperson POV**

"Okay Cristie, we have some breaking news for you," The little microphone in my ear said. I could never keep track of who was in charge of telling me the urgent stuff. Cameron or Steve. "Britney Spears has just announced..."

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**Okay! End of Chappy Three! I am SOOOOOOOOO proud of myself! I updated go me go me. It's my birthday it's my birthday.YAY!**

**Whoa, that was gay. Whoa. I have closed my poll because that was also gay. I really do think you should check out the stupid conversation though! It amuses me!**

**Whoa. again. GAY!!!**


	4. Hannah Montana

**Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight blah blah blah.**

**ON WITH THE NEWS CAST!**

Chappy Four: Hannah Montana

**Rosalie POV**

Emmett, Jasper and I walked into the house just the same moment as we heard a braking news report.

"Breaking News! Britney Spears has just announced to the public that she is pregnabt AGAIN! She has also mentioned that Hannah Montana" The newslady paused as she did the crazy sign with her finger, "is the father. Hannah has something to say about this." Then on the screen was Hannah Montana and another news roporter. "What the hell is Britney's problem? She's such a mother effin' bitch!" Then Billy Ray Cyrus came on screen and starting lecturing hannah about not swearing on the "tely" and I couldn't hear the rest. Edward started screaming.

"OH MY FREAKIN' CARLISLE! Hannah?" He was adressing Bella "When the hell did you get me pregnant?!" Edward ran off muttering things like "bitches" and "asses". Bella was sitting on the counch, wide-eyed. Where the hell was Carlisle? Or Esme? Edward was in desperate need of a straight-jacket...

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**Sorry about the supreme shortness, but pair it together with Chappy Three and it isn't that short. Well actually, yeah, it is, but I am working on the first chappy about Alice and her plans for revenge! I really hope I can update in less than two months like I did this time.**


	5. Edward Cullen Must DIE!

**Disclaimer: -rolls eyes- Whatever**

Chappy Five: Edward... Cullen... Must... DIE!!

**Alice POV**

Edward, Edward, Edward. How was I going to get rid of him? All I wanted was to play a game of truth or dare. That's all. Is it really too much to ask?

Apparently, for Edward, it is. That son of a bitch **(a/n: Ooh, naughty woooooords...)** can't let anyone else in the FRIGGEN LIMELIGHT!! He had to act all like he didn't know that was Edward and NOT Britney Spears! Now for a way to torture him... Let's see I could...

-Tell Bella he's gay

-Convince him that Human blood tastes better than animal blood does (Then he would feel the wrath of Carlisle! Mua Ha Ha Ha!)

-Send Bella on a trip to see Renee, then take Edward to see Jessica, convince him she is Bella, Then, when bella gets back, tell her Edward was cheating on her.

No, I don't think Bella or Edward are that stupid... I guess I'll have to think of more evil plans. -sighs- ...Oh well... That carlsiledamned Edward, thinks he's good enough to RUIN MY PLANS!!! One sec... HA HA!! PETER'S HORSE CRAPPED IN THE BED!!! Okay, I'm back now...

Edward Cullen...

Must...

DIE!!!

Okay, I am better now.. BRB.. HA HA!! STEWIE'S A CHICK!!! WITH LIPSTICK!! It is SO not his color.. Okay, back again.

Great news! While I was distracting myself from my horrible pain, I came up with a couple of new plans!!

-Tell the werewolves we hate Edward now and- OOH! LOOK!! STEWIE WON THE LITTLE MISS TEXAS COMPETITION!!- that they call kill him 'cause he was the one that turned Victoria into a vampire and we didn't tell 'em 'cause we liked Edward back then 

OR!! (This is the worst one!!)

-Tell Rosalie Edward was in her persomal space room and touched all of her stuff! FEAR THE WRATH OF ROSALIE HALE!!!! 

MUA HA HA HA HA!!!! I AM AN EVIL GENIOUS!!!! Yes... I shall have my revenge, AND Carlsiel won't even blame me!! Poor Rose, BUT I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!

No, Wait, I HAVE A BETTER IDEA!! MUA HA HA HA HA!!!

Whoa, I really have gone crazy, haven't I? O .o

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**Okay, I really need more reviews peeps. I know those authors who ask for reviews are selfish and annoying. And yes i know this means I am selfish and annoying, but I can gaurentee you, I am also competitive. Not that it matters, but ya know, no, nevermind, you probably don't.**

**Okay, I am done ranting on now. **

**REVIEW!!**

**Please?**


	6. Oh Noeys!

**Disclaimer: Yeah, not even gonna bother And if I haven't said it already, this takes place after Eclipse**

**A/N: ****Ok, some sad news here, this is the last chappy. so sad. But Do Not Fear! I have millions of oneshots that I plan on posting! I maight even continue some on! I am sooo good...**

Chappy six: Oh Noeys!

**Esme POV**

I had just come home from the hospital, helping Carlisle clean his office, after the patient freakout, and I saw Bella sitting on the couch, looking mortified, and I could not help but wonder where Edward was. He would usually comfort her in this case, but he was no where to be found. And usually if he didn't, Alice would, and she wasn't anywhere in sight either.

"Jasper? Where are Alice and Edward?" I started to painc when Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett just continued to stare at Bella.

"Bella, are you OK?!" ...Silence... "Answer me dammit!"

"Oh, uh sorry Esme. Alice is off somewhere and Edward is convinced he is Britney Spears, And that Bella is Hannah Montana." Jasper, the only sane one...

"Why?" Bella? Hannah Montana? Edward? Britney Spear? I had a reason to be confused.

"Too confusing to explain, I hardly get it myself..." Then, for no particular reason, Edward came running out, screaming a whole bunch of random crap, and scarily, he was nude.

"MILLSBERRY! DOGOABY! WHOA!! I SHALL NAME MY CHILD SUPER DUPER BANANA SUPER HERO PANTS!!"

"Esme. could you get him som therapy? I am permantly scarred for life..." Rosalie was always the least tolerant one, and this time was no different... Poor Bella was still sitting on the couch looking absolutly shocked and Emmett had left with Jasper and Rosalie. I was stuck taking care of Edward, by myself, alone. Oh... Shit...

"Edward, put your close back on. NOW!!"

"No! What is te piont of clothes anyway! Britney Spears is slutty and goes naked!!"

"Okay then Edward... Do you wanna see Carlisle? I'm sure he'd love to see you."

"No! He"ll make me put clothes on!" I ignored edward for I had already called Carlisle, but didn't tell him what was happening because then he wouldn't come.

-about three minutes later-

"I'm here Esme? What happened my love? what's the emergency?!" He stopped talking as soon as he saw Edward running around in his birthday suit. My poor Carlisle's mouth was agape and he looked terrified. He started shaking.

Then Alice showed up and started laughing evilly. The whole rest of the family had follewed her as well.

**Alice POV**

Yes! I was finally going to get my revenge!!

"Alice, what's wrong dear? Are yo okay?" Yes, I was fine, but in a second, no one would be...

I set off the bomb and it exploded. The house was engorged in a firey mess. Everybody was asking me why I would do such a thing. I just ignored them and watch Edward die in the fire...

"MUA HA HA HA!!! Oh darn, I din't mean to kill the rest of you too! I am sorry! Oh Darn! Now I am dying! Damn Fire!!!!

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**Okay, I am waring you, I am going to be posting a whole bunch of crap within the next few days, some not in the Twilight section, so be watching...**


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